By Sophie Saint Thomas and Sarah Madaus
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If you're unfamiliar with butt plugs, allow us to introduce you to a versatile toy you can enjoy regardless of gender, orientation, or genitalia. Butt plugs for beginners (or anyone, for that matter) offer a multitude of sensations. If you have a prostate, butt plugs can stimulate it; if you have a vagina, a butt plug can create incredibly pleasurable pressure on the back vaginal wall. Not to mention, nerve endings also surround the anus.
Butt plugs are wonderful toys that can help you safely explore new sexual territory. If you've never tried them, or if you're already into anal sex, they can help you switch up your routine while warming up your body for new things. Whatever the reason you're keen to dive into the world of butt plug play, there are a few things you should know for a comfortable, safe, and sexy experience.
Some sex toys, such as the Wartenberg Pinwheel, have rather cryptic names. Butt plugs, however, do exactly what you'd imagine: They plug up your butt. A butt plug's primary duty is to make you feel good: "The anus can be a remarkable source of pleasure, so butt plugs, with a lot of lube, are a great way to loosen up the anus and get something inside of it," says David Ortmann, LCSW, a psychotherapist and sex therapist based in San Francisco.
People often use butt plugs for penetrative anal sex prep. Remember, unlike the vagina, the rectum doesn't self-lubricate. This is why it's important to warm up your butthole with plenty of lube and smaller objects, such as fingers and butt plugs, before penetrative sex with a strap-on or penis, says sex educator Timaree Schmit, who also co-hosts a podcast called DTF.
Butt plugs are cleverly shaped for their function. They generally have narrow tips that get progressively wider toward the middle and then narrow again to a slim neck at the base so your rectum can contain them comfortably. Since the rectum can act like a vacuum and suck objects inside, a flared bottom, pull cord, or ring prevents a butt plug from getting lost inside you, Ortmann says. (Nobody wants to be the person whose story goes viral for ending up in the ER with a butt plug stuck in their bum.)
In addition to choosing a plug with a flared base, it's important to check that your toy is body-safe. Since sex toys are sold as "novelty items," they're more or less unregulated by any federal agency, meaning it's up to you to make sure that materials are safe to put in, on, and around your genitals. We've witnessed, upon opening our drawers, that a rubber vibrator had leaked pink dye everywhere. If unsafe toys can stain my underwear, what else can they harm? "Cheaper toys might be made of chemicals that can leach into your body," Schmit states.
According to the Kinsey Institute, anything that's silicone, borosilicate glass (Pyrex), or stainless steel is a good bet. Schmit suggests beginners select silicone over glass or steel, as silicone has more give and is easier to insert. All three materials are nonporous and can be thoroughly cleaned after each use. Butt plugs made of hard plastics and acrylics, on the other hand, are porous, which means they can become hotbeds of bacteria from your GI tract, which is neither safe nor sexy.
Another butt plug rule of thumb: Start small, and don't let your eyes get bigger than your butthole. "Pick one that looks ludicrously small to you," Ortmann says. "I remember buying my first one and thinking, This is a good medium size. I don't think I got that thing inside of me for another decade." If you're a total beginner, start with the smallest size available and work your way up. After all, you can't return a used butt plug.
Anal sex warm-up is far from the only use for plugs. Some within the BDSM community use them as part of dominance and submission (D/s) play. ("I like to make submissives suck on the butt plug that I'm going to use on them," Ortmann says.) An advanced user may wear a butt plug for several hours, or out in public.
If you have a vagina, the butt plug is also a wonderful way to experience double penetration: Slide one in after applying lube and wear it during vaginal sex with a penis or dildo. You can also simultaneously stimulate your clit with fingers or a vibrator. Many people love receiving oral while they have a butt plug in. That said, you don't need a partner to enjoy butt plugs — they make for excellent masturbation companions. In fact, solo sex is a lovely way to explore anal play. The bottom line is that anal pleasure through butt plugs is something anyone can enjoy.
Again, the rectum doesn't self-lubricate, so you're going to have to help it out. And if you're using a butt plug with multiple partners, practice safer sex by putting a condom on it and using a non-oil-based lube before each use, advises Ortmann. Oil-based lubes, including at-home options such as coconut oil, break down latex, but water- and silicone-based lubes do not.
Here's the thing about silicone lubes, though: They're awesome for butt stuff because they're thick and tend to last longer than water-based varieties, but silicone breaks down silicone. If you're using a silicone toy, grab a water-based lube. Glass or stainless steel butt plugs work wonderfully with any lubricant. But if you're new to butt plugs, start with silicone, as the material has more give than glass or stainless steel. We recommend Maude's Shine Organic Lube ($18), Überlube ($24), and Good Clean Love Almost Naked Lube ($7).
First, don't neglect foreplay. Instead of going straight for the ass, try a few other activities you enjoy, like oral sex, to get your body turned on and receptive to a new kind of stimulation.
Next, start with something smaller than a plug: Lube up your finger, or ask your partner if you can borrow theirs. Circle the anus with the finger, glide it gently in and out of the anus, then add another finger.
After your butt is comfortable with a couple of fingers, slather your plug in lube and slowly slide it inside you. I've found that inserting a butt plug is easiest when the receiver is bent over in a doggy-style position, but everyone is shaped differently, so experiment to find out what works for you.
According to sex and relationship expert Jessica O'Reilly, the key to anal play is relaxation. As she writes in The New Sex Bible: The New Guide to Sexual Love, there are two muscle rings known as the sphincter around the entrance to the anus. You want to be gentle with them when inserting anything into your butt. "Relax, breathe deeply, and bear down slightly with your sphincter muscles as you insert [a toy] for the first time," writes O'Reilly.
To remove a butt plug, gently pull it out while taking slow and steady deep breaths, or have your partner hold the base and slide it out for you. O'Reilly also points out that removal can be easier if you've orgasmed during anal play, as orgasms relax the pelvic floor.
After play, always wash your butt plugs and your hands with warm water and ample soap. If you have a vagina, avoid transferring bacteria from the butt to the vulva or vagina, since that can cause infection. (This means you and your partner need to wash your hands before rubbing any of your other genitalia.) Schmit says you can toss silicone plugs in a dishwasher, and our favorite three nonporous materials — tempered glass, silicone, and stainless steel — can be boiled to disinfect them, provided that they don't contain motors.
That's a decision between you and your butthole, but we have some recommendations for you. You may want to buy your toy in person at a reputable adult boutique so you can ask questions of the knowledgeable staff. If you don't have access to a good adult shop or are too shy or busy to visit a brick-and-mortar store, there are plenty of reputable brands and retailers that'll ship them right to your door (with discreet packaging, at that). Most of these sites offer educational videos and tips for using their anal toys, too. Here are some of our favorite butt plugs for beginners, for all kinds of bodies and sensations.
Why It's Worth It: Maude's no-frills silicone butt plug is our favorite for beginners because it's slim for easy insertion, budget-friendly, and doesn't have any controls to mess around with. It's made with that good, body-safe silicone and honestly, it's pretty cute. The Cone has an insertable length of 3.5 inches and an insertable diameter of one inch, making it very approachable. Like all good sex toys, it comes with a handy and discreet storage bag.
Editor Tip: Use this small plug to "warm up" for anal sex; it'll help to relax your muscles and get you used to the feeling of something in your tush. You can also wear it for foreplay, and if you decide that you like it, consider leveling up to a vibrating option.
Product Specs: Waterproof, water- and aloe-based lube compatible, comes with storage bag
Why It's Worth It: Meet Ditto, another vibrating plug that's great for butt-stuff beginners or experts. It has 10 different patterns with deep, powerful vibrations. It's made with smooth silicone and it's totally waterproof, making it a breeze to clean. And if you've ever been edging…edging…edging…and then your vibe dies, you'll appreciate Ditto's low power alert, so you won't get stranded during your session.
Editor Tip: We-Vibe changes the game when it comes to long- (or short-) distance intimacy, as all of its toys are remote- or app-controlled. Use the remote for self-pleasure and control from different rooms (or across the dinner table), and have any partner download the app to control the toy from even continents away.
Product Specs: Waterproof, 2-hour battery life, water- and aloe-based lube compatible, and comes with a USB charging cable, remote, and a Pjur lube sample.
Why It's Worth It: Newbies, rejoice: This luxurious, easy-to-use prostate massager from Lelo is a gift to your well-being. It has a familiar, game console-style control panel that makes it simple to choose from any of the eight vibration settings. This massager also has a surprisingly long battery life (up to 4 hours), so you can really go the distance.
Editor Tip: Billy 2's versatility is really where the toy shines. Use it alone to add prostate play to your masturbation routine, with a partner during foreplay, or even try it as a vaginal massager to hit the G-spot. Our bodies may be different but we can all enjoy high-end sex tech.
Product Specs: Waterproof, 4-hour battery life, water- and aloe-based lube compatible, and comes with a satin storage bag and a USB charging cable
Why It's Worth It: An anal plug that doubles as eye candy? Sure, we'll bite. PinkCherry's affordable vibrating option isn't too long, and it has the tapered base you want in an anal toy. It has a bit more girth than some others on this list, so if it's your first butt plug rodeo, consider opting for a slimmer one.
Editor Tip: The gem on this toy's base is actually a button to control the vibrations. There are 10 different settings you can cycle through to pick your pleasure—and you can have at it for up to two hours, thanks to the rechargeable battery.
Product Specs: Waterproof, 2-hour battery life, water- and aloe-based lube compatible
Why It's Worth It: Bruno is on the pricier side, but there's a reason why Amber Rose vouches for this luxurious brand. This prostate massager is angled and has pleasure at the top of the mind. It also wraps externally around the perineum and vibrates at six different speeds and variations. Not every sex toy has such bragging rights.
Editor Tip: Bruno is a dual-motor toy, with one in the base and one in the tip. They don't have separate controls, but this still allows the vibrations to stimulate the perineum and the prostate simultaneously.
Product Specs: Waterproof, 2-hour battery life, water- and aloe-based lube compatible, and comes with a satin storage bag and a USB charging cable
Why It's Worth It: For those eager to play with small butt plugs in preparation for wider options, check out plug sets such as this Bellesa anal training kit, including a small (insertable length of about 3 inches), medium (about 3.5 inches), and a large (about 4 inches) plug. Ortmann refers to trios like these as "Cindy, Jan, and Marcias": They're sisters of different sizes.
Editor Tip: Here's a fun feature: The base of each of these plugs doubles as a suction cup. So when you want to indulge in a little self-pleasure, you can attach it to any hard surface and allow it to penetrate you.
Product Specs: Waterproof, water- and aloe-based lube compatible
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